How many kids could YOU take out in a fight?

http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/

Can't Sleep?

Me either. It's almost midnight and this is the second night in a row I've had insomnia. It's the pits. I literally tossed and turned like Shamu last night, and tonight I didn't want to keep Abe up, so here I sit. Blogging.

So, what I am going to do (in hopes that it makes me so tired I fall asleep on the couch) is recap a portion of my Memorial Day weekend- in which we spent in Midland, TX.

Weekend started out with a short road trip to Hobbs, NM where I lost $52 in slots at the casino. Then we ventured to Odessa the next day to "shop" and had dinner at "The Bar." (If you are ever in Midland, go to The Bar...it's great. http://www.thebarmidland.com ) On Saturday, we got some sun, cooked out, and then went to the RANCH RODEO in Andrews, Texas. Here's where the recap begins.

Ranch Rodeo- Andrews, Texas
If you've ever been to a Ranch Rodeo, then you know exactly what I am talking about. If you've been to a Rodeo, you have a slight understanding. If you've never seen a horse, a real cowboy (no, Brokeback Mountain doesn't count), or a calf (baby cow), you will need to YouTube/Google, Ranch Rodeo and watch what happens.

A Ranch Rodeo is a series of events performed in teams of cowboys. Events can include:
Buck Riding
Trailer Load
Mugging
And something that I've forgotten the name of, but it involves a large (very large) size of granny panties.

Here's the deal. $5 bucks gets you in the door to Andrews' great facility, cute cowboys, and yummy soft serve ice cream. PETA would have a field day had they been there, however I am told that no animals were injured. Honestly.

These cowboys rope the calves, take them to the ground and hog tie them- this is the 'mugging' portion of the event. Trailer loading involves 3 cowboys; they must rope a calf, get it into a large trailer and then put their 3 horses in the trailer. Wait- this isn't over yet. They have to then run to the pick up truck, attached to the trailer, get in, and some honked the horn to signify their completion.

The final event- involving before mentioned granny panties is a hoot. The cowboys must rope a calf, wrestle it into submission and fit the granny p's over the calf's tush. This, like the other events, is timed. It was astonishing to see these cowboys rope calves, buck broncs, and shove these animals into the trailer. It seriously took each team about 2-3 minutes to handle these obstacles. (Except for the bronc riding which only took 8 seconds.)

Funny that it only took them about 38 seconds to get the panties onto the calf. How did they do it so quickly? Is this something they "practice" on the ranch? Are they just experienced in that kind of maneuvering? Are they pros with the granny panties?

Needless to say, we had a great time visiting. Next visit I hope to see the Ranch Rodeo reversed- maybe the cows can put udders on the cowboys bottoms, rope them, and better yet- herd them into a trailer, all for the small price of $5.

Yee Haw.

Adrian the Deam Weaver

I am challenging all 3 people who might read my blog to find a better looking van, wrapped in artwork to advertise a business. Today, Abe and I saw this van in the parking lot at Home Depot. Not sure why this van would be parked there, but whatev. Adrian the Dream Weaver looks oddly similar to Fabio, but is no model. He provides women all over the DFW area with fabulously done hair extensions. I had to check out his website because his van so amazing...here's what I found:

www.hairextension.com

If you don't believe me on the van- look below. I made sure to snap a shot (using my trusty iPhone) thanks to Abe. I mean seriously, my 3 friends who read my blog, what in the name of all that is good was Adrian thinking? And, I would like to know if his hair is real, or if he gave himself extensions.

Huey Lewis and the...what the heck?

So, I am driving home from work yesterday, listening to a great song by Huey Lewis and the News...when all of the sudden, I realize that I am listening to the "oldies" station. Don't get me wrong, I like a little 50's/60's music- it's upbeat, it's not talking about gangsters, drugs, or women as if we are objects. It's just good old fashioned music. But what in the heck? Huey Lewis isn't considered "old school" in my book. He is an icon from the 70's, 80's and even today. (I was informed last night by our friends over fajitas that Huey Lewis just put out another album- who knew?) Who doesn't like a little "A heart of Rock 'n Roll", or "Hip to be Square"? But who wants to be reminded of their childhood via the "oldies" station? I was born in the late 70's and want to hear me some Aretha Franklin, The Temptations, or even Cat Stevens.

Show me some love oldies station- stop playing songs from my childhood! I would like to continue to feel hip.

Toodles

I have this friend from work, a fabulously funny friend- a friend who makes fun of certain words I say. I often say, "toodles" when leaving, or telling someone goodbye. My friend does not think this is funny, cute, cool, proper, all of the above. She, in fact makes a LOT of fun of that word and the fact that I say it. She thinks I am a granny. (Here we go again with the granny bit.) I have tried several times (cold turkey) to stop saying 'toodles,' but it doesn't seem to really work. It's already wired in my brain. When I accidentally say it in front of her, I quickly act like I am joking and only saying it to annoy her. I am welcoming new expressions of 'goodbye' if you know one...

Toodles!

Feliz Cinco de Mayo

Coinky Dink? I think not....

(Just writing that subject line made me laugh. Anyway.)

Tonight, randomly, Abe and I were watching old Michael Jackson videos and we made a shocking discovery. MJ in his younger, pre-plastic surgery (a.k.a. 'how much money can I pay to have my face screwed up') days and the dude who sings "Chocolate Rain" (otherwise known as Tay Zonday) on YouTube looking coincidentally a lot alike. Check it out:



Thoughts? Talk amongst yourselves.

The crack heard around the world...or just Dallas...

I played in a double header softball game last night. It was fun. We lost both games, but we still had fun...until I got a ball thrown almost as fast as a line drive at my right shin. It seriously was the loudest sounding crack- people in the outfield, the stands, even the Ump asked me if I was ok. (The Ump yelled something like, "That's what your glove is for!" Nice.) I was fine until the numbness wore off and it felt like there was a knife sticking out of my leg. Fun times.

In other news, my "crazy" aunt came to the first game. This is the aunt who knows all the words to "Shorty Swing My Way" and "Low." She is a hoot. Drives a bright yellow Mini Cooper. I am happy to have a fan of our team, crazy or not.

I love me some Hot Pockets

This is too funny. When I eat my Lean Pocket, I always sing their little jingle in my head. This guy is a hoot.