Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Mama, what are THOSE?!
I recall a cloudy day, back in the 80's...My mom, brother and I were at Target. I was in roughly the 3rd grade. My little brother is perched in the big red basket and my mom, permed hair and all, was walking us down the "woman" aisle. She proceeds to chunk a big blue box of "product" into the cart. At this point in my young life, I am becoming curious about everything. The big blue box is driving me crazy. What in the world is that? And, more importantly, why do I not get one? I am a girl after all. I want to be pretty, too! Here is the conversation as I remember it all those years ago...
Me: Mama, what is in that blue box?
Mom: Oh nothing. Don't worry about it.
Me: Why? I want to know. What is that?
Mom: I'll tell you when we get home.
Me (voice is getting a little loud): But I want to know now. What are those?
Mom: Erin, I'll tell you when we get home.
(My brother is getting anxious at this point and maybe a little curious as well, his head is flipping back and forth between me and my mom- like he's watching a ping pong match...)
Me: MAMA!!!! I WANT TO KNOW! TELL ME - WHAT ARE THOSE???!!!
(At this juncture, I am getting irritated, my mom is totally embarrassed about my tirade in Target, and my brother is clueless now. He's off in He-Man land, or maybe he is naming his next Cabbage Patch Kid.)
Kicking and screaming as we head for the car, my mom must have been praying to the Lord above that my dad would be home when we got there to intercept me so she could forgo the "birds and bees" talk with me.
Needless to say, I never did find out what was in that big blue box while at Target. When we got home, my mom came into my room with a big, but thin, hardback book. I can't really remember what the name of it was, but I do remember the illustrations inside. A man. A woman. A baby. In one illustration there was a woman and it shows her insides, another illustration shows a man and his "parts." This is the day I discovered what my parents did to get both me and my little brother into this world. I was told that they were in love and that's what people do when they are married and in love. (I didn't want to have this conversation with my mom anymore. Whatever was in that blue box could stay there. YUCK.)
After my mom did some explaining (in very technical terms), she quietly walked out of my room and left me to simmer- in shock. How did I not know about this act? Why would God make me do THAT with a boy to have a baby? And lastly, I realized that babies didn't come from eating Snicker bars with peanuts, they came from BOYS! WHAT in the heck?!
Embarrassed to say anything to my friends (or anyone for that matter) about my discovery, I kept quiet for years! I didn't say a word until I was in the 5th grade and I got to watch the movie that Annie hosted about girls and "the change." Most of the girls in my class giggled and some cried. This is a shocking time in a young girls life. I did not giggle and I sure did not cry. I just sat on the floor in front of the TV, like the 'know-it-all' I was (and am, thanks to my dad) and thought to myself how proud I was to be a girl. And how lucky I was to have such a cool mom to explain to me this process so that I wasn't in shock like the other girls.
Enter 1996 and the 11th grade when I witnessed the "folding of clothes."What a surprising and yet disturbing day that was. (Maybe more disturbing than the day at Target.) That's the stuff your mom won't warn you about when she tells you about the birds and the bees. "Folding clothes" apparently happens even after you have kids and don't want any more.
Right, mom?
(This post is dedicated to Christa and her awesome kid Hannah who is discovering what the big blue box is...)
Me: Mama, what is in that blue box?
Mom: Oh nothing. Don't worry about it.
Me: Why? I want to know. What is that?
Mom: I'll tell you when we get home.
Me (voice is getting a little loud): But I want to know now. What are those?
Mom: Erin, I'll tell you when we get home.
(My brother is getting anxious at this point and maybe a little curious as well, his head is flipping back and forth between me and my mom- like he's watching a ping pong match...)
Me: MAMA!!!! I WANT TO KNOW! TELL ME - WHAT ARE THOSE???!!!
(At this juncture, I am getting irritated, my mom is totally embarrassed about my tirade in Target, and my brother is clueless now. He's off in He-Man land, or maybe he is naming his next Cabbage Patch Kid.)
Kicking and screaming as we head for the car, my mom must have been praying to the Lord above that my dad would be home when we got there to intercept me so she could forgo the "birds and bees" talk with me.
Needless to say, I never did find out what was in that big blue box while at Target. When we got home, my mom came into my room with a big, but thin, hardback book. I can't really remember what the name of it was, but I do remember the illustrations inside. A man. A woman. A baby. In one illustration there was a woman and it shows her insides, another illustration shows a man and his "parts." This is the day I discovered what my parents did to get both me and my little brother into this world. I was told that they were in love and that's what people do when they are married and in love. (I didn't want to have this conversation with my mom anymore. Whatever was in that blue box could stay there. YUCK.)
After my mom did some explaining (in very technical terms), she quietly walked out of my room and left me to simmer- in shock. How did I not know about this act? Why would God make me do THAT with a boy to have a baby? And lastly, I realized that babies didn't come from eating Snicker bars with peanuts, they came from BOYS! WHAT in the heck?!
Embarrassed to say anything to my friends (or anyone for that matter) about my discovery, I kept quiet for years! I didn't say a word until I was in the 5th grade and I got to watch the movie that Annie hosted about girls and "the change." Most of the girls in my class giggled and some cried. This is a shocking time in a young girls life. I did not giggle and I sure did not cry. I just sat on the floor in front of the TV, like the 'know-it-all' I was (and am, thanks to my dad) and thought to myself how proud I was to be a girl. And how lucky I was to have such a cool mom to explain to me this process so that I wasn't in shock like the other girls.
Enter 1996 and the 11th grade when I witnessed the "folding of clothes."What a surprising and yet disturbing day that was. (Maybe more disturbing than the day at Target.) That's the stuff your mom won't warn you about when she tells you about the birds and the bees. "Folding clothes" apparently happens even after you have kids and don't want any more.
Right, mom?
(This post is dedicated to Christa and her awesome kid Hannah who is discovering what the big blue box is...)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Going Green
This weekend, Abe was out of town, so I had a lot of time on my hands to do stuff around the house. I cleaned, organized- you know, the "fun" stuff. While cleaning, I realized that I had no where to recycle our empty wine and water bottles. The "big" thing now is going green. This means recycling, using those energy saving bulbs, spending less, driving less, buying local products, producing less "waste," and much more. My parents have been recycling for years (kudos to them for jumping on this bandwagon early on!) and it has just now hit me that I need and want to get involved in this movement, not just to make me feel good, but to save the earth for my unborn children.
Here are just a FEW ways I am starting out:
• Purchased a plastic trash bin to hold our recyclables.
• Taking old canvas bags to the grocery store to cut down on the amount of plastic bags we use. (If I happen to forget them, I ask for paper)
• Re-using the Ziplocks I use for my lunch by washing them and reusing them a couple of times.
• Eating out less (which in turn saves on gas and money)
• Watching the amount of electricity we are wasting (by leaving lights on, the A/C running cold while not home, etc.)
• Limiting my water use in the shower, brushing my teeth, and washing my face.
Try some of these for a week...Mother Earth thanks you!
http://www.ourearth.org/
Here are just a FEW ways I am starting out:
• Purchased a plastic trash bin to hold our recyclables.
• Taking old canvas bags to the grocery store to cut down on the amount of plastic bags we use. (If I happen to forget them, I ask for paper)
• Re-using the Ziplocks I use for my lunch by washing them and reusing them a couple of times.
• Eating out less (which in turn saves on gas and money)
• Watching the amount of electricity we are wasting (by leaving lights on, the A/C running cold while not home, etc.)
• Limiting my water use in the shower, brushing my teeth, and washing my face.
Try some of these for a week...Mother Earth thanks you!
http://www.ourearth.org/
Friday, April 25, 2008
Birds
I don't really think people quite understand that I am in fact truly, scared of birds. Please let this photo demonstrate that fear...on my honeymoon in Puerta Vallarta, Abe and I are standing in this beautiful plaza taking pictures when all of the sudden a massive swarm (I know, Dad, it's a flock) of birds comes right at me. They surrounded me and are trying (at least it felt like they were trying) to eat the concrete from under my flip flops. Needless to say, I had to take cover...
(Click on the picture to get a larger view.) No birds were harmed in the taking of this picture (or the amount of shrieking done by me), however, the laughing Latino in the background did hurt my feelings. He should have been helping me get away from those crazy Puerta Vallarta birds! Never again folks. Never again.
Worlds Cutest Weiner Dog
I promise I did not stage this photo-
my dog is just this cute! He's like the
"princess and the pea," except he's
not a princess, but a little prince.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Loud music in the office
As I have previously stated, I work at an advertising agency. Here, the only people who get offices with doors are the "higher ups" and they would include the CEO, President, and any "director." Obviously, my "manager" status does not qualify me to have an office with a door, hence I sit in a cube with the rest of my team. Normally, I do not care about the offices with the doors. Today, I care. A lot. Today, I need a door.
A woman I work with is listening to an abundance of music. I think her iTunes must be on 'shuffle' because this morning, I've already heard (loudly) some sort of disco song with lots of tambourining, Babs and her song "Somewhere" (or something like that), George Strait...I think, The Beach Boys' California Girl (she started singing along to this one, not in the right pitch), and now some song about "save a horse, ride a cowboy."
I obviously drew the 'suck' card this morning when I woke up. If I'd known this morning what I know now, the iPod would have made it to work. I need some headphones...for the love.
A woman I work with is listening to an abundance of music. I think her iTunes must be on 'shuffle' because this morning, I've already heard (loudly) some sort of disco song with lots of tambourining, Babs and her song "Somewhere" (or something like that), George Strait...I think, The Beach Boys' California Girl (she started singing along to this one, not in the right pitch), and now some song about "save a horse, ride a cowboy."
I obviously drew the 'suck' card this morning when I woke up. If I'd known this morning what I know now, the iPod would have made it to work. I need some headphones...for the love.
(Barbara Streisand in 1995, courtesy of Wikipedia)
Monday, April 21, 2008
Living in America? Speak English, not Engrish, please.
(Disclaimer: This post is not intended to offend anyone who was not born in America, nor anyone who doesn't speak English. It is merely an opinion of mine and I wanted to share it today. Please keep in mind that I work for a Hispanic advertising agency and I am the MINORITY (both in race and in language). I am not racist and still believe we are all God's children.)
Normally, I would not be writing about something like this, for many reasons. But today I am really mad. I have been waiting for a chair to be upholstered (for my mom). I called earlier this week and talked to some chick on the phone who assured me that my shams and my mom's chair would be ready by 4/18.
Yesterday, 4/20, I went to pick up the goods. The shams- ready. The chair- not ready. So, the guy/owner of the store (not a native of America and VERY poor at speaking the English) told me that they would deliver the chair free of charge.
Today, 4/21, I get a call from another chick at the store telling me that the chair leg took longer than they thought to fix and that she 'assumed' I knew that, so 'sorry for the confusion.' I am guessing her parents didn't tell her what happened to little girls when they 'assumed.' (Hint: It's makes an ASS out of U and ME.)
She tells me that the chair will be ready tomorrow, but to call before I come pick it up because she wants to make sure it's at the store. Huh?! I proceed to tell her that he owner of the store told me he would deliver the chair, yadda yadda yadda. However, she's telling me that the chair cannot be delivered because the owner didn't know the "whole story". The "whole story" is that the leg broke off, she called me about it, assumed I would know it would take longer, I called to confirm everything would be ready by Wednesday, go to pick it up on Sunday, not ready, get free delivery because the chair is not there, and now am getting the run around.
This owner (who drives a freaking 7 series BMW- new) is trying to hi-jack me for a delivery fee of $30. (Plus the $120 for the leg- which was previously fixed by a dude in Midland.) Seriously? You own a fabric warehouse. You drive a nice arse car. You employ amigos, most of whom do not have a Social Security number (or vote) and you probably only pay them minimum wage. You don't speak Engrish very well, and are obviously not of the mind set that the CUSTOMER is ALWAYS right. This type of person drives me crazy.
Can I get an AMEN?
Normally, I would not be writing about something like this, for many reasons. But today I am really mad. I have been waiting for a chair to be upholstered (for my mom). I called earlier this week and talked to some chick on the phone who assured me that my shams and my mom's chair would be ready by 4/18.
Yesterday, 4/20, I went to pick up the goods. The shams- ready. The chair- not ready. So, the guy/owner of the store (not a native of America and VERY poor at speaking the English) told me that they would deliver the chair free of charge.
Today, 4/21, I get a call from another chick at the store telling me that the chair leg took longer than they thought to fix and that she 'assumed' I knew that, so 'sorry for the confusion.' I am guessing her parents didn't tell her what happened to little girls when they 'assumed.' (Hint: It's makes an ASS out of U and ME.)
She tells me that the chair will be ready tomorrow, but to call before I come pick it up because she wants to make sure it's at the store. Huh?! I proceed to tell her that he owner of the store told me he would deliver the chair, yadda yadda yadda. However, she's telling me that the chair cannot be delivered because the owner didn't know the "whole story". The "whole story" is that the leg broke off, she called me about it, assumed I would know it would take longer, I called to confirm everything would be ready by Wednesday, go to pick it up on Sunday, not ready, get free delivery because the chair is not there, and now am getting the run around.
This owner (who drives a freaking 7 series BMW- new) is trying to hi-jack me for a delivery fee of $30. (Plus the $120 for the leg- which was previously fixed by a dude in Midland.) Seriously? You own a fabric warehouse. You drive a nice arse car. You employ amigos, most of whom do not have a Social Security number (or vote) and you probably only pay them minimum wage. You don't speak Engrish very well, and are obviously not of the mind set that the CUSTOMER is ALWAYS right. This type of person drives me crazy.
Can I get an AMEN?
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Ten movies you MUST see (well, in my opinion)
1. Big- Tom Hanks "grows" up via a Voltar machine.
2. Pretty Woman- Julia Roberts hooks in Hollywood and falls in love with Richard Gere.
3. Breakfast at Tiffany's- "Audrey Hepburn plays that daring, darling Holly Golightly to a new high in entertainment delight!"
4. Knocked Up- Katherine Heigl gets preggo by pot smoking, unemployed Seth Rogen.
5. You've Got Mail- Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan meet online, hate each other, then end up falling in love.
6. The Breakfast Club- Kids in Saturday detention get cozy with Principal Vernon.
7. Annie- We learn that the sun will come out, tomorrow.
8. A Christmas Story- Really? Do I have to say it? Ok. "You'll shoot your eye out!"
9. Someone Like You- Ashley Judd, Greg Kinnear, and Hugh Jackman- a bizarre love triangle.
10. 40 Year Old Virgin- Steve Carrell, well, you know...FINALLY!
2. Pretty Woman- Julia Roberts hooks in Hollywood and falls in love with Richard Gere.
3. Breakfast at Tiffany's- "Audrey Hepburn plays that daring, darling Holly Golightly to a new high in entertainment delight!"
4. Knocked Up- Katherine Heigl gets preggo by pot smoking, unemployed Seth Rogen.
5. You've Got Mail- Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan meet online, hate each other, then end up falling in love.
6. The Breakfast Club- Kids in Saturday detention get cozy with Principal Vernon.
7. Annie- We learn that the sun will come out, tomorrow.
8. A Christmas Story- Really? Do I have to say it? Ok. "You'll shoot your eye out!"
9. Someone Like You- Ashley Judd, Greg Kinnear, and Hugh Jackman- a bizarre love triangle.
10. 40 Year Old Virgin- Steve Carrell, well, you know...FINALLY!
Friday, April 18, 2008
The softball verdict
My team ended up playing last night- what a game. One of the highest scoring games I've ever played in. (I play 2nd base!) Score was 5-25. We lost. We only played 3 innings and in the 2nd inning, the other team scored 20 runs. I seriously thought that there was a run rule limit...No?
Our team name has unofficially changed to "The Bad News Bears."
Next week- a double header. I guess Rome wasn't built in a day. (Per Walter Matthau and of course, my Dad.)
Our team name has unofficially changed to "The Bad News Bears."
Next week- a double header. I guess Rome wasn't built in a day. (Per Walter Matthau and of course, my Dad.)
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Softball...
Tonight I am supposed to have a co-ed softball game...at 645p...in the ghetto. The weather forecast is not looking good and I think I know why.
You see, when I woke up this morning, I was excited to play ball tonight. By the time I got to work, I was unmotivated and a little scared (mainly because I haven't thrown a softball in over a year nor have I batted).
At approximately 10a this morning, I began what I like to call, "the white girl rain dance." It looked something like this:
(Many props to my youngest sister-in-law for providing this footage.)
I am sitting at my desk, literally checking the window every 4 seconds or so, hoping for a drop. A small drop. Anything. So far, there is nothing but a dark cloud. I guess I'll have to continue the rain dance or end up changing into my uniform and playing.
You see, when I woke up this morning, I was excited to play ball tonight. By the time I got to work, I was unmotivated and a little scared (mainly because I haven't thrown a softball in over a year nor have I batted).
At approximately 10a this morning, I began what I like to call, "the white girl rain dance." It looked something like this:
(Many props to my youngest sister-in-law for providing this footage.)
I am sitting at my desk, literally checking the window every 4 seconds or so, hoping for a drop. A small drop. Anything. So far, there is nothing but a dark cloud. I guess I'll have to continue the rain dance or end up changing into my uniform and playing.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
The Last Lecture: Randy Pausch and Diane Sawyer
Don't miss this incredible event tomorrow. It will change the way you look at your own life.
I can guarantee you will fine peace within yourself, make life changes for yourself, and you will love like you've never loved before.
If you can't watch the show, at least read the brief article and watch his videos on YouTube. Trust me, you will be inspired.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/LastLecture
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3633945&page=1
I can guarantee you will fine peace within yourself, make life changes for yourself, and you will love like you've never loved before.
If you can't watch the show, at least read the brief article and watch his videos on YouTube. Trust me, you will be inspired.
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/LastLecture
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3633945&page=1
Monday, April 7, 2008
A case of the "Moooonday's?" I think not....
Typically, on Monday's, I am a little quiet. It takes me a little bit to get going at work and to move on from the weekend. But today- there are a few events that are allowing me to get through today- smiling and actually liking this Monday. Those events are:
1. The Bachelor: London Calling is on! (8pm CST)
2. The Hills is an HOUR long episode tonight! (9pm CST)
and last but not least....
3. All of my laundry, except for the whites, is folded- so I don't have much housework to do when I get home...just dinner and maybe arranging the pillows on the couch.
On another note, I got an email from a friend today and in that email was a story of a man who lived his life by "choosing" to be positive. It was a touching story and it really made me think- each day I wake up, I have a choice. I can either choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. The Bible verse in the email has stuck with me today:
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:24
You have a choice- wake up and be happy, or wake up and be blue. I am going to try to make the "happy" choice in the mornings. Remember Randy Pausch? He is waking up happy to be alive. Happy to spend one more day with his wife and kids. One more day that he gets to see the world evolve. One more day to be an inspiration to strangers in our universe.
Bobby McFarin said it best in his 1980's hit, "Don't worry, be happy."
1. The Bachelor: London Calling is on! (8pm CST)
2. The Hills is an HOUR long episode tonight! (9pm CST)
and last but not least....
3. All of my laundry, except for the whites, is folded- so I don't have much housework to do when I get home...just dinner and maybe arranging the pillows on the couch.
On another note, I got an email from a friend today and in that email was a story of a man who lived his life by "choosing" to be positive. It was a touching story and it really made me think- each day I wake up, I have a choice. I can either choose to be in a good mood or I can choose to be in a bad mood. The Bible verse in the email has stuck with me today:
"Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:24
You have a choice- wake up and be happy, or wake up and be blue. I am going to try to make the "happy" choice in the mornings. Remember Randy Pausch? He is waking up happy to be alive. Happy to spend one more day with his wife and kids. One more day that he gets to see the world evolve. One more day to be an inspiration to strangers in our universe.
Bobby McFarin said it best in his 1980's hit, "Don't worry, be happy."
Friday, April 4, 2008
Gum for Sale!....Any takers?
There is this cute chick that works with me and she always has the greatest stories about her 2 sons. (I've met her youngest son and he is adorable...love him!) Anyway, she comes to work yesterday and starts telling us this story about her oldest son, the future millionaire.
Yesterday, he took 1 package of gum with him to school. Now, this package of gum cost $1. He sold each stick of gum to his friends and made $2.40 in one day (a profit of $1.40)! When he was telling his mom about his business venture, he just chuckled and said, "Man Mom- kids will pay anything for a piece of gum!" (This kid is genius!)
Just think, if he did that every week for a year- he'd have close to $80! Not too shabby for selling gum!
I think there might be a Donald Trump Jr. among us.
Yesterday, he took 1 package of gum with him to school. Now, this package of gum cost $1. He sold each stick of gum to his friends and made $2.40 in one day (a profit of $1.40)! When he was telling his mom about his business venture, he just chuckled and said, "Man Mom- kids will pay anything for a piece of gum!" (This kid is genius!)
Just think, if he did that every week for a year- he'd have close to $80! Not too shabby for selling gum!
I think there might be a Donald Trump Jr. among us.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Tooting Shoes
This week, my mom was in town and one day I took off work to hang out with her. We ran around shopping, getting mani's and pedi's, lunching, etc. One of our stops throughout the day was DSW (the shoe store). We made out like bandits! They had lots of cute zappatos and I got a few pairs of flip flops- ON SALE! (In addition to my cute new M.U.D.D shoes that I am dying to wear!) Anyway, my mom bought these fabulous sandals (that I so desperately wanted, but they did not have my size skiis...) that were brownish with a cool metal button on top. (They really are cute!) We get home and she is trying on her shoes and walks into the den and says, "Should I wear these? They make a funny noise." I listen carefully while she walks around, and low and behold, the shoes are tooting. The cute sandals are tooting! I am so sad for my mom because today, I must go return them for her.
You just can't have shoes that make that kind of noise- it would be impolite.
You just can't have shoes that make that kind of noise- it would be impolite.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
