Baby Thomas

I am now in my 15th week of pregnancy and what a fun time this has been. Last week, my mom and I went clothes shopping because as you might guess my shirts are a tad tight and my jeans refuse to button comfortably. I am not wearing the maternity clothes yet, but it makes me feel better that I have SOMETHING in the closet to wear....Anyway- I haven't posted a single pic of the baby yet, so I figured I'd post the latest pic from the appointment at week 13- the week that I lost my balance and fell. While the doc was making sure everything was "in tact", she made this funny face and loudly announced, "I see a penis! I am about 95% sure you are having a boy!" It caught me totally off guard, but we are so excited! Below is Baby Thomas....

Photo Equals

I think I've done this before- where I took a picture of Michael Jackson and then a photo of YouTube sensation Tay Monday (or something like that) and showed you the "alike-ness..." Well, it's happened again ladies and gents. But this time, it's happened with someone I actually know. Check it out. I RANDOMLY went to deannaandjesse.com (the last Bachelorette's website with fiance' Jesse) and saw these crazy pics they've taken, for what, I have not a clue. I am hoping they are not engagement photos- but hell, at this point, who knows. Anyway. I send the web link to my friend Kiska, and she replies with the "photo equivalent" of one of our friends. For your viewing pleasure, we have on top Deanna and Jesse posing outside of a tattoo parlor. On the bottom (where he likes to be), we have my friend, Joel posing with an Argentinian street walker. There are a lot of similarities here people...



(please note this image is copyrighted by deannaandjesse.com)



(please note this image is not copyrighted, and for good reason, too.)

I wonder where that white hat lives now....

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times- well, that just makes me a fool.

Tonight, after a long hard day of annoying work, I took my sweet wiener dog for a saunter around the block. The weather is getting nice and I am finding it much more appealing to walk him in the coolness of September, than the heat from hell during the summer.

I did the walk ritual- got a poop bag, got the leash, got the Ween in his "vest" aka harness, and away we went. (Did I mention that I grabbed A poop bag- this information becomes very useful in about 30 seconds.)

So, we are walking along, Red is peeing at every blade of grass we pass, and I am checking out everyone's landscape trying to figure out why ours is just not as buttoned up. Something I am mentally adding to my list of "to do's."

We continue the walk and Red stops to poop. No big deal (other than the dry heaving and gagging noises I'll be making while picking it up). I get my bag ready, inside-out, an grab the lumps of poop in the grass, making sure to pick up every little bit. Perfect. And only a little bit of gagging! Not bad!

We mosey on and are rounding out the block when I look behind me and he has stopped again and is pooping. WHAT?! I only have 1 bag. It's already tied off, sealed! No more poop! What do I do? I'll tell you what I did- I opened that sealed bag up, and grabbed the second poop pile. This time, tying the bag so tight because it now has double stink to it! And the gagging has now graduated to a full on "outside voice" noise. Kids on their bikes are riding by, staring at the "gag" lady with the Ween.

Nice. Thanks Red. You're the best.

(By the way- this has happened to me now 2 days in a row; being caught with only one poop bag...third times a charm! Tomorrow I will have an arsenal of poop bags and will no longer be known as the gag lady, but the "bag" lady...if you will.)

Missing Elderly, Gold Black La Sabre

On the way to work the other day, I noticed the highway was particularly backed up. Living in Dallas, this is not a shock, but on this day, 75 was definitely not it's normal self. As I inched along the stretch of road, (think back to the movie Office Space, or see clip here....)



I am flipping through all 12 preset channels on the radio, trying to find a clue (traffic repot) as to what the heck is going on ahead of me that would cause such a jam. No such luck. I heard snipits of Phil Collins (One More Try), Salt-n-Pepa (Shoop), about 4 minutes of radio ads and to top it off, Def Leopard (Pour Some Sugar on Me)- oh yeah, I stopped there to sing along. It was greatness. ANYWAY.

As I continued down the highway (at an average rate of 3 mph), I am not noticing any helicopters, sirens, etc so I am thinking there must be a fresh wreck and slew on rubberneckers. Five miles later = 30 minutes later, I reach the "problem area."

The problem people, is not a wreck. It is a damn TX DOT sign with flashing orange lights telling drivers heading South on 75: Do Not Travel to Houston or Beaumont. Limited Gas. (People are slowing down the read the sign....Seriously.)

Well duh. Has the entire state of Texas gone mad? Do people in Dallas not watch tv, or listen to the radio? Every other word is "Ike." I can assure you those of us heading to WORK are not heading to Houston. If we are heading to Houston, it's because we are being sent by the local government, FEMA, or the Red Cross to bear canned food and water.

About 45 minutes later (and about 20 mins late) I arrive to work.

Leaving work, same story, but this time I am heading North on 75. The highway is jammed again and I am thinking that TX DOT has really lost their mind. Why are they displaying memo's to us on the highway? Most of us are on the phone, text messaging, checking emails and singing along to the radio- we are ALREADY multitasking here, people. Do not distract us from the important "drive home" duties. Ok....so I am approaching the sign, and this time it reads: Missing Ederly. Gld/Blk LaSabre. KS Plates from Round Rock. Please call police.

Ummmmmm......What? Let's start with the obvious- why would anyone drive a gold and black La Sabre? Now, how did the car/ederly get from Kansas to Round Rock, Texas? Lastly, why do we think the La Sabre has made it to Dallas during rush hour traffic? Why don't we think it has gone back to Kansas? Or better yet, did it drive to Houston?

Texas Department of Transportation: why must you slow me and my fellow Dallas-ites down during rush hour to warn me of news I am already aware of, or to alert me about a missing person? I understand that it is my civic duty to report any information I have on missing persons, but must you aide in the slowness of my 19 mile one way commute? Just send us all a text message next time you need to communicate- I can assure you, no one will slow down to read it because we are already pros at handling the cell phone while driving.

One of my favorite SNL skits

Had me some drippy cheese

Tonight, while gathering ingredients to make a dip for a meeting I have tomorrow night, I wandered around the Wal-Mart trying to figure out what to do for dinner. Since I never know what time Abe is going to be home from work these days, I figured it needed to be something easy and quick to fix (he gives me about a 30 minute window from the time he calls and is in the car on the way home....) While lurking around the store, I decided on my ever so famous, Mexican Pile Up. Basically, a taco salad. Nothing crazy. Nothing hard and intense to fire up. I pulled a u-turn Laverne and headed back down the "Mexican Food" aisle to pick up a can of fat free refried beans, when I spotted it. There in a little shelf, sort off to the side. A new sort of packaging I'd never seen before. There it was- a can of drippy cheese. Oh my gosh. How could I have just found this? It is a Christmas miracle! If you like "dirty" nachos as much as we do, and you are jonsin' for some drippy cheese, I suggest you head over to the nearest Wal-Mart and pick you up some Ricos. (and some antacids....)