On the way to work the other day, I noticed the highway was particularly backed up. Living in Dallas, this is not a shock, but on this day, 75 was definitely not it's normal self. As I inched along the stretch of road, (think back to the movie Office Space, or see clip here....)
I am flipping through all 12 preset channels on the radio, trying to find a clue (traffic repot) as to what the heck is going on ahead of me that would cause such a jam. No such luck. I heard snipits of Phil Collins (One More Try), Salt-n-Pepa (Shoop), about 4 minutes of radio ads and to top it off, Def Leopard (Pour Some Sugar on Me)- oh yeah, I stopped there to sing along. It was greatness. ANYWAY.
As I continued down the highway (at an average rate of 3 mph), I am not noticing any helicopters, sirens, etc so I am thinking there must be a fresh wreck and slew on rubberneckers. Five miles later = 30 minutes later, I reach the "problem area."
The problem people, is not a wreck. It is a damn TX DOT sign with flashing orange lights telling drivers heading South on 75: Do Not Travel to Houston or Beaumont. Limited Gas. (People are slowing down the read the sign....Seriously.)
Well duh. Has the entire state of Texas gone mad? Do people in Dallas not watch tv, or listen to the radio? Every other word is "Ike." I can assure you those of us heading to WORK are not heading to Houston. If we are heading to Houston, it's because we are being sent by the local government, FEMA, or the Red Cross to bear canned food and water.
About 45 minutes later (and about 20 mins late) I arrive to work.
Leaving work, same story, but this time I am heading North on 75. The highway is jammed again and I am thinking that TX DOT has really lost their mind. Why are they displaying memo's to us on the highway? Most of us are on the phone, text messaging, checking emails and singing along to the radio- we are ALREADY multitasking here, people. Do not distract us from the important "drive home" duties. Ok....so I am approaching the sign, and this time it reads: Missing Ederly. Gld/Blk LaSabre. KS Plates from Round Rock. Please call police.
Ummmmmm......What? Let's start with the obvious- why would anyone drive a gold and black La Sabre? Now, how did the car/ederly get from Kansas to Round Rock, Texas? Lastly, why do we think the La Sabre has made it to Dallas during rush hour traffic? Why don't we think it has gone back to Kansas? Or better yet, did it drive to Houston?
Texas Department of Transportation: why must you slow me and my fellow Dallas-ites down during rush hour to warn me of news I am already aware of, or to alert me about a missing person? I understand that it is my civic duty to report any information I have on missing persons, but must you aide in the slowness of my 19 mile one way commute? Just send us all a text message next time you need to communicate- I can assure you, no one will slow down to read it because we are already pros at handling the cell phone while driving.
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